The Ones Who Left

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The Ones Who Left: They Gave Us Life, We Gave Them Loneliness The Ones Who Left They Gave Us Life. We Gave Them Loneliness. By: Noor M Abro Two friends were talking. One in Sharjah. One in Pakistan. "Move to Karachi. Better opportunities for your kids." "I can't. My mother is alone. My father passed a year ago. She doesn't say she's lonely—but I can hear it in her silence." "You have sisters. They'll manage. Think about your future." Think about your future. Sometimes we forget that our parents are not just part of our past—they are woven into the very future we chase. Not an obstacle. Not a responsibility to be handed over. Simply… part of us. They carried us before we could walk. They stayed awake while w...

My 11 Year Search for the Perfect Side Hustle

My 11-Year Search for the Perfect Side Hustle: 6 Failed Businesses and Hard-Won Lessons

After 11 years and 6 failed side hustles, I learned what most entrepreneurs won't tell you about building income outside your 9-to-5. Here's my honest story of failure, persistence, and the mindset shifts that finally made the difference.

I've lost more money trying to escape my 9-to-5 than most people make in their side hustles.

If you've ever felt trapped in your regular job, desperately searching for that "one opportunity" that will set you free, this story is for you. Because after 11 years of failures, false starts, and painful lessons, I finally understand what I was doing wrong—and what actually works.

💡 Key Insight: The problem isn't finding the "perfect" side hustle—it's becoming the right person for the opportunity when it comes.
Person at crossroads choosing between traditional job security and entrepreneurial freedom, representing the side hustle journey
The crossroads every aspiring entrepreneur faces: security vs. freedom

The Banking Job Trap: How "Security" Became a Prison (2007-2025)

I started my first banking job in 2007, fresh out of university, full of dreams. Got married in 2008, and suddenly life became about responsibilities, monthly salaries, and the comfort of predictable income.

Banking in Pakistan pays well, but there's a hidden cost – the longer you stay, the more trapped you become. The salary increases, the lifestyle inflates, and before you know it, you need that monthly paycheck just to survive.

By 2014, something inside me was screaming for freedom. Not just financial freedom, but the freedom to choose work that aligned with my values, work that didn't keep me away from my family 10-12 hours a day.

Living in Hala New, a small town where opportunities are absolutely limited, made things even more challenging. But I was determined to find a way out.

I'm still in that same banking job today, 18 years later, but my approach to finding alternatives has completely transformed.

6 Side Hustle Experiments That Crashed and Burned (2014-2023)

❌ Attempt #1: Government Contracts Partnership

Timeline: 2014 • Investment: Partnership capital • Duration: 6 months

The Idea: Partner with a friend to secure profitable government contracts.

What Went Wrong: Bureaucratic nightmares, delayed payments, and political complications I never saw coming. I knew absolutely nothing about this space but jumped in anyway.

Lesson Learned: Never attempt something you know absolutely nothing about, no matter how "easy" it looks from the outside.

❌ Attempt #2: Bean Farming Venture

Timeline: 2015 • Investment: 2 hectares of farmland • Duration: One growing season

The Idea: Everyone needs food—farming seemed like a safe bet.

What Went Wrong: No experience, no proper guidance, and zero understanding of market dynamics. Lost all invested capital.

Lesson Learned: "Everyone needs X" doesn't automatically make X a good business.

❌ Attempt #3: Eid Cattle Business

Timeline: 2016-2017 • Investment: Multiple cattle purchases • Duration: 3 months (seasonal)

The Idea: Buy cows cheap, sell them expensive during Eid-ul-Adha season.

What Went Wrong: Market timing issues, cattle health problems, unexpected storage costs. Simple business model, complex execution.

Lesson Learned: Seasonal businesses require understanding the entire ecosystem, not just buy-low-sell-high logic.

Graph showing declining investment returns over multiple failed business attempts, representing the learning curve of entrepreneurship
The expensive education: Each failure taught valuable lessons

⚠️ Attempt #4: Edible Oil Trading Business

Timeline: 2015-2020 (5 years) • Investment: Significant capital • Status: Partial success, then failure

The Idea: Oil trading with established supply chains and steady demand.

What Happened: This actually worked for 5 years! Made consistent profit but could never scale it enough to replace my banking salary. Thin margins, fierce competition, and I was still thinking like an employee, not an entrepreneur.

The End: COVID-19 hit and forced complete closure of the business.

Lesson Learned: Surviving isn't the same as thriving. Profitability without scalability isn't freedom.

🔄 Reality Check: Most side hustles take 2-3 years to become profitable. Plan for the long game, not quick wins.

😔 The Dark Period (2020-2022)

Timeline: 2 years • Status: No attempts made • Reason: Complete loss of confidence

What Happened: After the oil business closure, I had no guts to try anything else. The failures had worn me down, and I resigned myself to the banking job trap.

The Turning Point: My wife's brutal honesty: "Maybe you just weren't cut out for business." It hurt, but it was the wake-up call I needed.

💥 Attempt #5: Steel Trading Business

Timeline: Mid-2022 to early 2023 • Investment: Personal + friends' money • Duration: 8 months

The Idea: Steel trading looked like an unrejectable opportunity.

The Success: For 5 months, everything went perfectly. Business thriving, good profits, scaled up with friends' investments.

The Collapse: By December 2022/January 2023, it all fell apart. Lost not only my investment but money that friends had trusted me with.

The Pain: The financial loss hurt, but disappointing people who believed in me was devastating.

Lesson Learned: Success can be more dangerous than failure if it makes you overconfident and reckless with risk management.

The Breaking Point

My wife didn't need a dramatic evening conversation to deliver the truth – she just told me what I already knew deep down in my heart:

"You're not a business-minded person at all."

This wasn't said in cruelty, but in the honest way that only spouses can speak. She had watched me pour money, time, and energy into venture after venture, each ending the same way.

The hardest part wasn't the words themselves – it was watching others around me who had started with nothing excel in their businesses while I continued to struggle with the same patterns of failure.

I accepted her assessment, even though it hurt. Maybe she was right.

💬 Hard Truth: Sometimes the people closest to us see our blind spots more clearly than we do. Listen to their concerns—even when it hurts.

The Pivot: When I Tried to Learn Web Development (2023)

I decided to learn something completely new: web development. Not to prove my wife wrong, but to prove to myself that one of my attempts would eventually succeed.

"This is the future," I told myself. "If I can't succeed in traditional business, maybe technology is my answer."

I started learning HTML and CSS. Made good progress initially. The logical structure of coding appealed to my banking background – everything had rules, everything had a system.

But life happened. Kids needed attention. Banking job demanded longer hours. Slowly, inevitably, I abandoned another attempt halfway through.

HTML and CSS tutorials joined my growing collection of "started but never finished" projects.

Person working late at night on laptop, representing the struggle to balance full-time job with side hustle dreams
The reality: Building a side hustle while managing a full-time job and family

The Breakthrough Moment (2024-2025)

Here I am now, attempt number – honestly, I've lost count – with this blog.

But something feels different this time.

Maybe it's because writing doesn't require massive upfront investment. Maybe it's because I can work on it during early mornings and late nights without disrupting family time. Or maybe it's because for the first time, I'm not trying to become someone else – I'm just sharing who I actually am.

5 Hard-Won Lessons About Side Hustles

🎯 The Real Lessons That Matter

  • You don't need to be "business minded" to create alternatives – you need to find opportunities that match your actual skills and personality
  • Most side hustles fail, and that's completely normal – successful people just don't let failures define their future attempts
  • The right opportunity feels different from day one – it aligns with who you are, not who you think you should become
  • Family support is everything – brutal honesty from loved ones often contains the seeds of breakthrough
  • Desperation makes you make bad decisions – patience and strategy beat panic and hope every time

1. You Don't Need to Be "Business Minded" to Find Alternatives

The problem wasn't that I wasn't business-minded. The problem was I was forcing myself into business models that didn't match my personality, skills, or circumstances.

Banking taught me systems, analysis, and risk management. But I kept trying businesses that required sales skills, market intuition, and entrepreneurial instincts I simply didn't have.

2. Most Side Hustles Fail – That's the Statistical Reality

Every successful person has a graveyard of failed ventures behind them. The difference is they don't let failures define their future attempts.

My mistake was treating each failure as proof that I wasn't meant for business, instead of seeing them as expensive education in what doesn't work.

3. The Right Opportunity Feels Different

When I started this blog, something felt different from day one. Not because writing is easier (it's not), but because it aligns with who I am:

  • ✅ I can work on it without massive capital requirements
  • ✅ It builds on my banking experience and life struggles
  • ✅ I can help others while building something for myself
  • ✅ It doesn't require me to be someone I'm not

4. Family Support Changes Everything

My wife's brutal honesty about my business attempts wasn't cruelty – it was love. She saw me chasing dreams that were making me miserable.

Now, when I work on this blog, she sees something different in me. Not the stressed, desperate person trying to force success, but someone actually enjoying the process of building something meaningful.

5. Timing Isn't Everything, But It Matters

In 2014-2020, I was desperate to escape banking. That desperation made me make poor decisions, rush into opportunities without proper research, and ignore red flags because I wanted results so badly.

Today, I'm still working toward the same goal, but with patience and strategy instead of panic and hope.

• • •

Where I Am Now: The Current Strategy

I won't lie to you – I'm still in my banking job. Still searching for that sustainable alternative income that will allow me to transition to work that aligns with my values.

But I'm approaching it completely differently now:

Instead of chasing quick money, I'm building something sustainable.
Instead of copying other people's success models, I'm creating my own path.
Instead of hiding my failures, I'm sharing them to help others avoid the same mistakes.

📈 Current Results: This blog approach feels sustainable for the first time in 11 years. The process itself teaches me something valuable, regardless of outcome.

This blog might succeed, or it might join the graveyard of my previous attempts. But for the first time in 11 years, I'm okay with either outcome because the process itself is teaching me something valuable.

For Everyone Still Searching: You're Not Alone

If you're reading this from your office cubicle, feeling trapped in your 9-to-5, dreaming of something better – I see you. I am you.

The pressure to find the "perfect side hustle" is real. The fear of another failure is real. The judgment from family and friends when another venture doesn't work out is real.

But so is the possibility that your next attempt might be the one that changes everything.

Maybe you're not meant for the traditional businesses that work for everyone else. Maybe your path is different. Maybe your unique combination of skills, experiences, and circumstances will lead to an opportunity that's perfect for you but wouldn't work for anyone else.

Maybe the answer isn't finding the perfect side hustle – maybe it's becoming the right person for the opportunity when it comes.

What's Next: The Honest Plan Forward

I'm committed to documenting this journey honestly – the successes, the failures, the moments of doubt, and hopefully, the breakthrough.

If you're on a similar path, let's figure it out together. Not with false promises or get-rich-quick schemes, but with real stories, practical lessons, and the understanding that building something meaningful takes time.

Sometimes the longest journeys lead to the most valuable destinations.

💬 What's your side hustle story? Share your failures and lessons in the comments below. Let's learn from each other's journeys and build something meaningful together.

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